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婚姻幽默 Marriage Humor



1-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
妻:你在作什麼啊?
 Husband : Nothing.
夫:沒作什麼。
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
妻:沒作什麼?你看著我們的結婚證書,足足有一小時了。
 Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
夫:我在尋找它的有效日期是到什麼時候。

2 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
妻: 要吃晚餐嗎?
 Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
夫: 當然!我可以選擇嗎?
 Wife : 'Yes or no.'
妻:要或不要。

3 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
妻 :為什麼你經常把我的照片放在你皮夾裡?
Hubby:  'When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
夫 :當問題發生時,不管有多困難,我看著妳照片就迎刃而解了。
 Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!'
妻 :你看我對你有多麼驚人的影響力啊!
 Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
夫 :是啊!望著妳的照片我問自己,還有什麼困難比這個來得大呢?

4 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.'
女孩:婚後我要分擔你所有的煩惱、困擾,以減輕你的負擔。

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
男孩:親愛的,妳真體貼,但我並沒有任何煩惱或困擾。

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
女孩:哦?那是因為我們還沒結婚的緣故。

5 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Son: ' Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning,
he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
子 : 今早我和爹地一起搭車,他要我讓座給一位女士。
Mom:  'Well, you have done the right thing.'
母   : 嗯,你這麼做是對的。
Son:  'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
子  :但是,媽,我當時是坐在爹地的腿上呢。

6 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
A newly married man asked his wife,
'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
一位新婚的先生問他太太:如果我父親沒留下巨額財產給我,你會嫁給我嗎?

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, N O MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
女人溫柔的答道:親愛的,不管是誰留下財產給你,我都會嫁給你的。
 
7 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever .
女孩對著男友說:吻我一下,我就永遠屬於你了。
 The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
男孩回道:謝謝您提早警告我。
 
8 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
妻問夫:你最喜歡我哪一點?我美麗的臉龐,還是我性感的軀體?
 He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor.'
他把她從頭到腳瀏覽了一遍,回道:我喜歡你的幽默感。

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